Effort versus skill

I must admit... I'm addicted to Special Olympics! Back when I was a swim instructor I got to teach a little boy with down syndrome how to swim. Those were some of my happiest summer afternoons. Now, here in Provo, on a beautifully, sunny Saturday, I got to volunteer at the local Special Olympics (thank you Greta!). There's such a sense of unity and loving bond at the Games that I wish we would take more of this edge with us in regular track&field, soccer, softball events. It's all about the love of the game and not the winning or losing, right? These blessed souls understand that whereas we who don't have any form of physical or mental handicap or in turn impaired by our normalcy. I learn so much from these type of people (swimming with them, working with them, volunteering with them) and they remind me how we really are sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. If I could have it my way, I'd volunteer every month for this great event. If anyone knows of any in the Utah for June (again) or Texas for July, could you let me know? I've been looking but haven't been able to find anything - if anyone hears rumor of one round about, please let me know!

A Long While

So, seeing as how it has been nearly 6 months since last I wrote, I decided (through insistent nudging from my sister) that I should provide an update on my life.

Let's see, from the beginning... so many different major life decisions have been made too, all equally important... let's begin with Bryce. Bryce and I fell in love. We found that things can work out very pleasantly when two people try real hard to make them work. We put many hours of laughing and crying into our relationship. Many discussions of taking it further (being married this month) came and after all is said and done, we found that we were to go our separate ways. He's still an amazing man and has treated me with so much respect, I have learned a better appreciation and respect for God's children on earth through him. He taught me the value of service and the need to go out of our way to do those little rays of sunshine for people in our lives. I am a better person from him and hope that I will one day marry a man that can have similar views of stepping out of the confines of social norm to express love to our fellow sisters and brothers.

General Conference was a very powerful time for me. Many questions of what to do with my life were in my head and so I decided to take one to Heavenly Father that I had taken to him at the beginning of October - May I serve a mission and be an instrument in Thy hands? I am surprised and pleased to say I have never received such a clear resonating affirmation to a question in my life. It wasn't a "yes, go" reply but through the various addresses given in conference, each one seemed to hit me deeper and deeper that missionary work was the right thing to do. Serving a mission was a noble endeavor that I was worthy to do at this point in my life. Finally, in praying I felt a clarity of mind and a clearness in direction for what to do. After learning quite frustratingly what a stupor of thought was, this was a welcome relief. I proceeded to fill out the paper work and arrange for the various meetings with Bishop Hatch and my stake president. If it hadn't been for the dental work in Texas, I would have had my papers completed and submitted within a week and a half. As it was, I submitted my papers in April 28th, the day after I got back from Texas. Talking to Bishop Hatch, he reaffirmed my feelings by adding that I would be blessing my family and future in ways that not even I would be able to fathom. I received my call to serve for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on May 15th. After stalking the mailman for 4 days and many hours of roadbiking and rockclimbing to vent some stress in anticipation, I received it from his very hand, just shy of 5pm. I drove to the Scoville's house in American Fork and opened it up with my entire family on a conference call, Nelson, Heather and Kevin, Heidi and Gary, and my friend Nate Watterson (and Amanda Cornwell on the phone). I am serving Spanish speaking to the people in Argentina, Rosario and reporting August 12 to the Provo Missionary Training Center. I am growing to have such excitement for the mission and have been trying to prepare by praying very basic prayers in Spanish, reading Preach My Gospel in my freetime, and reading through the Book of Mormon with my personal impressions written down in a notebook as I read. I am getting nervous because I am dealing with the next 18 months of my life, other people's salvation (to a degree), and my entire family and friend network (rolemodeling as well as learning what weakness really is). I am excited however to go home July 1st or 2nd with my brother for the Martino Family Reunion as well as getting the opportunity to study the Book of Mormon in Spanish with Dad. This is definitely affecting my life for 'a long while'.

For the 'short while' before, I've been taking some remaining classes for my major (8 credits spring term), dancing (country and salsa), trying to go to the temple 2-3 times a week, hanging out with friends, roadbiking solo or with friends, and rock climbing with Nelson. I'm never one to sit around and wait for experiences to happen. So, inorder to fix my time gaps I all of the sudden had, I decided to take a stronger passion in rock climbing. I've been going with Nelson for the last 4 weeks as well as with other friends in between when Nelson and I climb. It's an interesting thing rock climbing. It teaches you to trust on those around you and the virtue of the rock face. We've been climbing various different climbs in Rock Canyon Park, and much to the chagrin of my mother (because I don't think she really knows what this is), I've been learning to lead climb. Lead climbing is when the climber must clip in, taking the rope and clipping into the quickdraws as you climb. This is a much more dangerous approach to climbing but it teaches you a new trust - trust in yourself and your ability. God gave us so many gifts, one of which is a body that we often second guess. Might I dare add that although the reality may not be all too heroic and superman-like, we are able to accomplish quite a bit if we trust in Him and what He's given us. Although I ended up being quite sore and quite banged up, I can now say (with the help of Nelson and his friend Taylor), I have led climbed once - quite exhilarating.


The next item of news that is truly timely and shall I dare say amusing(?) is that I started dating my best friend Nate's roommate - Jeremy Perkins (this happens to be a picture from right before we started to date). It's been a whole whopping three days. I feel fine about dating him. He feels good about dating me. I am going on a mission. He wants me to go on a mission. He's not the personality type I am attracted to and yet I am attracted to him in an uncanny way. I'm not the personality type he's attracted to and yet he's attracted to me in an odd way. It's been three days and yet sometimes it feels almost as though it's been a month. I leave in 4 weeks to come home. He is going to Jerusalem for this fall. I'll probably fall in love with him and he will probably fall in love with me. With all this said, I am thankful for having been given the opportunity to learn a little more clearly that it's not up to me to plan and judge my life. The Lord puts people in our lives that we can learn most from and that can help us most when we need it and least expect it. I also am coming to realize that Heavenly Father is merciful towards us, His children. He wants us to know we're never alone and that this earth is made for one large family unit - we are the uplifting angels when we reach to our brother or sister.

Life is full of interesting twists and turns. With the various decisions I get to make in this crux of my life, various decisions that effect me for a long while, I love that I have the Lord to guide me in every footstep (if I can ever get this hard head of mine to listen that is) and that laughter is the best remedy for stress of the unknown.

A new semester as well as new year

So, I decided while waiting for the opportunity to register for my practice room in the HFAC (at midnight of course) to write down a few of the things that are happening of late in my life as well as some of my thoughts.

First, and one of the best parts, is that I found.. he found?... my roommate Jessi found?... who ever is to blame for the blessed fortune - a boy was found for me and I am ever so grateful. He is ever courteous to not only me and my family but also strangers who we have never met before, quiet in unfamiliar settings but to hear him laugh when he really gets excited and warmed up to people is something fantastic, a work ethic stronger and more diligent than a stubborn mule (he works until the job is done to his satisfaction and studies hours on end until he has mastered a skill), and a heart of gold (always helping friends, acquaintances, as well as strangers with their vehicle problems as well as making sure every night we end it laughing and happy with life and each other). Bryce is one I didn't know was still around (I thought all the girls had already snatched up his type or that they were simply in the storybooks and hollywoodized). He's great, basically. He tried real hard to do a lot for me while I had my broken foot.... these past 2 months.

Second, yes, I broke my foot. I technically broke my 5th and possibly 4th metatarsal while... are you ready for this? ... walking down my FHE brothers' apartment stairs. No terrific fall or acrobatic pirroutte gone awry, I simply stepped and my ankle twisted, allowing the tendon no time to give, snapping my bone. Heck, and for such a small bone, it caused quite the fuss of pain too! Being my slightly stubborn self though, I didn't go to the doctor that night and instead went to study in the library. Of course it's too embarrassing to be carried out of a public building by boys like the damsal-in-distress I was and so I hopped from the 5th floor, through the elevator, and to the library atrium doors with my foot that had swollen so much, I could no longer where a slipon shoe on that foot. Thank goodness my kind friend Jonathan was there to carry me to the car and the next morning drive me to the student health center. However, 9 and a 1/2 weeks, 2 x-rays, and a handicapped parking pass later, I'm healed... unless my foot rebreaks during a my coed soccer team's intermurals game I just signed up for.

Third, classes ended turning out quite well after much stress and effort. They also look as though they will be very interesting and good this semester as well, 10 classes, 16 credits. I don't think my classes will be too bad though, quite intriguing with my Hymns of the Restoration class, Middle East Lecture series in the middle of the semester, as well as Percussion Workshop. Although, I would have to say that I preferred this past week over those classes. I spent 4 days in deep concentration learning what evaporation, freezing points and mountains all have in common along with a human anatomy firsthand experience as I exercised longtime dormant muscles for the first time... this ski season. Snowbird, it really does have some of the best snow and runs available in Utah!

dating, breaking feet, and social library interactions

So, I realized I hadn't written anything in... a number of months? I decided before I go on my date today to try and catch things up.

First thing is first - school is going great. It's rather hectic with the various classes. I still think that my Music 301 class is pretty much pointless but am trying to ignore this fact. Although my Doctrine and Covenants class causes lack of sleep - I still love the class along with my teacher, Alonzo Gaskill. I finished one composition for my theory class and have only one remaining before the end of semester. I... have to pass out of my piano class because I relied too heavily on what little skill I have on the piano (bad idea!). Needless to say, my piano class is one of the most frustrating at the time. However, with all that said, classes are going well and I am sooooo happy that it hasn't snowed horribly yet because that means a few more days of great, enjoyable warmth.

Secondly, I have my reasons for not liking the snow at the moment because I don't get to enjoy it in any normal way. I broke my foot walking down stairs, no good fall, no good story, simply walking down the stairs, rolling my foot, and realizing after I heard a pop that I wasn't going to be able to walk this rolled foot pain off. Snow and ice are phobias currently, can only imagine what... amusement I could have trying to walk uphill with my booted foot and iffy balance with ice. Although I have nightmares for the day it snows and ices here in Utah, I have found great benefits to having a broken foot (yes, it actually broke - the 5th and possibly 4th metatarcel). The first is that I have a number of really cute boys thinking me a damsel in distress. Now, I have too much pride to concede to too many chivalrous acts but as for driving me to school, carrying my book bags when I was on crutches for the last two weeks (I am officially finally off crutches!), occassional piggy back rides up and down stairs where there are no elevators... quite the positive consequences to a broken foot! Oh, and I also received a temporary handicap parking pass on campus which is such a relief and dare I say, way to spoil myself?

Now that my health and school has been covered, the love life. Of course that's always something interesting. I found the key to excessively dating this past month. It takes a month in prepping the area but afterwards, two to three dates a weekend! Study in the library every night till midnight, work every other day, and of course be nice (as usual) to those you interact with daily in school. Now, the common man would think this would afford no social life. However, with this simple formula I was asked on FIVE dates! for this Friday (yesterday) and Saturday (today) night. Don't ask me how, I actually have no clue how I've been dating so much this semester. Truthfully, I've been avoiding trying to date and more focusing on things in school. Turns out I have a number of people who love me, think that I would get along great with another friend they love and so I've been set up on numerous first dates this semester. With all that said though, I commend my roommate (engaged) Jessi who definitely set me up with a keeper. He can be more shy and reserved in some social settings but is one of the funniest people that I can genuinely laugh WITH when he's in the zone. Of course he's tall, dark, and handsome. Well... he's not extremely tall and he's blonde... but he's handsome for sure, with a very dear smile (the smile is what gets me because it shows how much a person can laugh, how dear they can be, and how happy as an individual they really are). Bryce is pretty much amazing (texan!) and it's always fun to go out with him doing new things each time (but of course my favorite is the studying in the library j/k!). I do appreciate all the close friendships I've formed this semester though with my close family friend Nelson and a dear friend who happens to now be in my home stake, Jonathan.

With all that said, I am trying to no do too many stupid things (no worries, the triathlon I about signed up for, I decided to drop due to my sadly broken appendage). I'm eating my veggies (actually, spaghetti squash is really good and with a few other ingredients very tasty). I'm sleeping more than normal at least these past two weeks - I blame that one on my foot draining me of all energy but I don't think Dad or Mom really care what I blame getting more sleep on as long as I do. I'm saying my pleases and thank yous (especially to Heavenly Father for keeping me healthy, happy, and sane). I've been trying to think of ways to make this year of my life really memorable (not in a stupid sense) because of the example Tannon had become when he was 20 years old. After pondering and trying various things, I think I figured out that for me to make this year very impressionable on myself and others is by having a passion for people. I developed this while ini Jerusalem, I'm just learning how to slightly alter it to fit the area that I live in now and yet find so many rewarding benefits from it. I've had such great examples lately and from talking to some of them, they have been able to gain something from me as well. It's been stronglt iterated to me that no matter what we do, we affect those around us. If I sit on a bench and shake my foot, even if it is subconciously that I tap my foot, I affect those that sit next to me with my jitteriness. Even the smallest action has some form of reprecussive events on those around us. Life is really interesting and truly a puzzling wonder sometimes.

beginning of school

it's been quite some time since I've written but I'm back now.

Fall Semester is looking as though it'll be rather interesting. I've gone from trying to add a beginning dance class as a nice blow-off class to not having any at all, in love to completely single and not finding feelings for anyone, being a very poor studier to working every night in the last week till midnight in the library on homework, and lastly I've gone from hardly ever singing in vocal practice to singing with pianists and on my own 6 hours a week.

It's been a wonderful, very fast first week of school. I decided to take 13.5 credits, 8 classes of music core as well as 2.0 credits of religion and what I was hoping would be a .5 credit of dance. Of course things never turn out the way we imagine them and with a little rearranging of my schedule after getting into my audition choir, I tried to get into DANCE 184 but unfortunately was turned away. However, this might be a wonderful idea because I would have been taking 16 credit hours, 10 classes (that's quite a large number of classes for me). I'm really excited for the classes that I am taking though because they are all looking to be very nice, invigorating, some rather simple and easy to get out of early, whereas others will be very difficult and time consuming.

My love life has been rather interesting in the past three weeks because I went to having a little bit of something with some people to nothing. I almost dated someone at the end of summer (Daniel) but found I should not hurt his feelings if I decided to date my best friend (Bryan) when he got off his mission at the beginning of fall semester. I found I did like the best friend missionary better, at one point was in love with him as well, but for one of the darndest reasons, don't love him anymore. With that said, we're still good friends and spend time together (I've told him that I don't like him like that and don't want to date - I am being honest with him). He currently plays the piano for me on a wonderful regular basis as well. I am going out on dates with another guy (Craig) that is very active (runs like a beast, hikes, road bikes, rock climbs - might type of outdoorsy) who just graduated and is looking into graduate school for next fall meanwhile preparing to take a group of interns to Uganda?. My last boy situation is the one that is the most wonderful. My friend Jonathon who I greatly respect and love to pieces is currently in the accounting junior core which equals habitation in Harold B. Lee. Both of us are fed up with our dating status/love lifes and don't want that type of stress anymore so we are "getting married" on a particular date in September. It makes me so happy to have such a great friend, no strings attached, that I'm able to care so much about (his health at least - getting 6.5 hours of sleep between 2 days isn't healthy!!!). He makes me laugh, he and his roommate Mike.

Jonathon helps me with this next part as well. Every night he lives in the library. So in order to be a very dedicated student versus the slacker that I normally am, I go and live there with him and his roommate as well in the fifth floor of the library (ie the Accounting floor). It makes me laugh and much much less stressed studying with such wonderful company, eventhouhg we're there til midnight most nights. Laughter is always a great cure to stress.

As for vocal practice - it's going wonderful. It's really a wonderful novel thought to practice. I've never really practiced and now that I'm averaging 6 hours a week, I'm memorizing and learning at such a rapid pace that my teacher was floored when I came to our second lesson having one song memorized and the second one (in German) with words learned but not yet memorized. I love being on top of everything - it makes the lack of sleep not nearly so bad in actuality.

This semester is going to be a great time to be here!

Love

Today, Tomorrow and time through each of our days, I believe we should each take a step closer into looking at what we have to offer this world in the ways of love. For scripture study tonight, we got into a very deep conversation about death, how to more fully, horizontally love and thoughts concerning this. Daniel Derricott left this page pulled up on my computer - http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-479-26,00.html - which I greatly appreciated. It's titled "The Women in Our Lives" and spoken by President Gordon B. Hinckley only about 6 months after his beloved wife passed away 'to eternity'. In bed reading this page, I am wondering why he might have put that on my computer, whether it were to give me more insight to how people have dealt with death and carried on or if it were to remind me that even though I may get down once in awhile, I am a precious gift from God. Either way, I appreciated reading this talk. It's been a while since I last read/listened to it.

Most of the thoughts for the night are rather personal but I will share a few that we discussed. We evolved the evening from discussion into a chapter reading/discussion base. Reading from Moroni 7, we each took three versus in which any body with thoughts could at anytime interject. Thoughts that arose, that I'm willing to share are concerning charity. Charity never Faileth. a) you choose to have it, b) the atonement never faileth, c) it is treasure laid up in heaven, like a bank account that never decays and that we are continually being blessed from, and d) it's a lifestyle that will never end up wrong/bad/collapsing. In discussion we discussed concerning the Prophet George Albert Smith. He was asked by his great Grandfather in a vision what he had done with his name. How do we truly honor those people's names and lives that have moved on? I believe in what Jonathon Drysdale said that it's by doing those things that would make those people not here proud. We carry on their legacy, honor their name.

Scriptures that hit home in our discussion were in such order
Moroni 7:48
1 John 2:10
D&C 42: 45-46
Moroni 7:26
Moroni 7:39

So really, this week has been rather hectic and crazy with the many different things that have happened. Between work, dance, and my new ward, I've come to understand when some of my friends stare at me baffled and say [in awe] "She's got so much energy!". I've had two friends say that over the past month now - Mike Henderson, in Petra, while we were on some subject I was so very passionate about and Daniel Derricott one night this week in the apartment when I was just being me. Energy, I figure, is partially a mental thing. Trust me, I've tried the energy drinks and they really do squat for me except screw with my body's mellowing system (I can still fall asleep on them though). Energy is positive, mental energy one lives in. Really, it's so much easier when we don't complain about those spilled strawberry shakes of life. Now, for an explanation why energy and me shouldn't really be synonymous most of the time (regardless the fact that I'm resting my sore, weary feet on the coach arm as I type):

1) Work is awesome. Work is never steady hours both in duration nor in beginning of time. I applied for a new position in work and got it, started it, and have been working as the closer this past week for 3 of the 6 days out of the week. This means that I get to explore all the dark recesses I never knew catering had before. Also.... the pOwEr - muahhahahahaha... no, not really. I'm not all that power hungry but it's fun for effect. We get to eat awesome food which is a plus (and if the boys in my ward don't fatten me up this summer with all of our ice cream escapades then catering might do the job). I get to end with everything all neat and orderly clean which is a love love love of mine - all clean and orderly when I leave or go to bed (or at least preferably). But this means that on top of school (which I'm only going part-time right now but soon....), being a social butterfly, and regular shift hours, I know spend another 10 hours in closing (but don't get me wrong - this is great constant hours that I can have through fall as well. I love it because it means a small constant steady income). So, this affords no reprieve in life (but did I mention a pay raise?) to recoup energy but it's wonderful the same.

2) I love dance. Dance is a way to express yourself. It is a form of communication in which energy is given and taken between you, the dance, the floor, and your partner. It is a way to constantly move and explore different muscles in the body not normally used. It's an art which can make a girl truly feel like a princess; an art that can look ultimately elegant, graceful, and fluid while simultaneously being rather fast-paced. I've begun dancing with a few people in my class late at night after my night class. With a little bit of music, a lot of medical tape, and a constantly running water fountain, we dance. Perfecting an art that is trying to be taught to us while thoroughly enjoying each other's company and the possibilities of friendships that can possibly arise. No, I am not ever resting due to dancing but I'm enjoying life to the brim, drinking to the lees!

3) Why do all summer wards just really seem to rock my socks off?! Truly my prayers have been answered. Not only am I living with wonderful roommates but with people that I am beginning to love for their humor they're bringing into my life and their insights to how life can really be enjoyed. We watched My Fair Lady, Singing in the Rain, and the Sound of Music this past week along with playing games last Sunday night and a great scripture study. I respect those people so much and love them for their examples and friendships. Jonathon Drysdale, Dustin Briscoe, Daniel Derricott, Veronica Benavides, and Mary Linford (and today, Daniel's sister Sarah). There's more as well such as Ashley Burton, Kelly Steinbeigle, David Ross, and others. They really are a great social network. Really, if anybody were to ever know anybody amazing - it'd be these people right here.